eyes

no, i was not sad. those weren’t the eyes of sorrow, but worries. worries of what my mouth might say, that would be so lame or unwise. i have not feel such feeling like going on stage for the first time, while talking to anyone. i have so much to tell you, but more reason not to say out. hopefully, the infatuation will pass and so will the wall of shyness. pathetic…

speechless

the body is just an empty vessel moving the arms and fingers, trying to shout out for a help of soul searching. a living carcass, a mirror of zombified personality, which one can never explain how such 180 turn event could happen. from so much feelings to burst to such emptiness that one should not be alive to own such feeling.

the load is so much, so heavy, but the body just carries a whole load of empty tank to fill. who’s gonna fill it, still depends on how much that tank’s gonna open it’s lid. or worst case, will there be anyone with such big load of crap to fill. the real thing just can’t stop reminding me to not give up. how i wish it’s that easy…

miss hua in town

miss hua in town (penang)

not the one

it’s so empty now. i dug deep into those song that triggers that memories. but none could actually recreate that sad feeling of longing for someone. emptiness that drowns of what should be fun filled and flooded with sadness that creates the living in me. where have it all gone to. am i suddenly that hollow for no apparent reason? is this the step to normality or should i be alarmed that there are no longer be any connection with the thing we call feelings?

i don’t wanna be normal. there really aren’t a single person who is normal. define normal… we all have our unique personality which push us away from being normal, or the same as the person next to you. we are not products of what the society tells us who we suppose to be.

still empty. still so dead.