so hard… and it’s not the dick

so many times, i wanted to utter those 3 words each time when we call it a night and log off. or when you are going away for a holiday. or when it’s time to hang up the phone after a chat before we go to sleep. just an empty blank after the good nights and goodbyes that i am not ready to fill in. or i already am but just holding back, because it might be said out alittle too soon. i wish not for a repeat of the previous  experience of jumping into the pool too soon. i am still alittle old school. but i don’t mind being a fool for this time around. fooling myself that it could happen even when we are far apart. things that linger in my mind, dreams i carved from total fiction of my brain.  let this not be a long term infatuation.

apart

it’s a rarity to develope the feeling of missing someone. even that 2 week ordeal of the so-called relationship did not build such anticipation i am experiencing right now.  the idea of not able to see your face when i’m hearing you sweet voice over the line. with just text and the internet are never enough when i miss looking into your eyes and hear you laugh and giggle so much, whenever i cook something funny up. are those pity laughs or real happiness at the comfort of my presence, i would love to think it’s the latter. but all this feelings built up, the things i wanna do to surprise you, might no surface if you are not so far away. that, i wouldn’t know. could it be just me, or is the air between here and there, is filled with something special.

steel…panther

does anyone know what is a ROSS? like a verb, you do a ROSS. i always do that whenever there’s a girl in my life who i really really like. the ROSS is originated from the comedy sitcom FRIENDS. it’s what Ross in the show does whenever he falls in love with someone. you know, imagining both are living together, gettin’ married, will have 2 kids, and a dog and a cat. and the kids will go to chinese school during their primary, but they’ll come home to speak perfect english. then every sunday morning, we’ll bring the whole family with my mom to visit the in-laws at the mainland… oh crap. it’s not a ROSS. it’s a ME. shithead. some pretty girl suck please my balls.

does anyone know what is a ROSS? like a verb, you do a ROSS. i always do that whenever there’s a girl in my life who i really really like. the ROSS is originated from the comedy sitcom FRIENDS. it’s what Ross in the show does whenever he falls in love with someone. you know, imagining both are living together, gettin’ married, will have 2 kids, and a dog and a cat. and the kids will go to chinese school during their primary, but they’ll come home to speak perfect english. then every sunday morning, we’ll bring the whole family with my mom to visit the in-laws at the mainland… oh crap. it’s not a ROSS. it’s a ME. shithead. some pretty girl suck please my balls.

think it’s back

i wonder if it’s that simple and easy
to miss a smile that’s you rarely see
and the sort of stupid things you do
looking at your mobile for any sms for you
at times i wonder if it’s all just infatuation
or i found a near perfect companion
how can things suddenly be so clear
when i’ve been living in the dark sewer
time and effort would only tell me
if all this are really meant to be

note to self

i finally remembered what was the best mistake i’ve ever made. it’s a whiny topic that i’ll rather not repeat…